NEVER TOO LATE

Wooohoooo! I was allowed by the University I studied in to re-enroll. You see, I went back to check on which subjects I had left behind so I could finally...no make that FINALLY get my degree in Architecture. In the process of their evaluating my transcript, we found out they had issued an Honorable Dismissal because, after being away from school for 2 or so years, I had decided to go back to school and my mom agreed to help me but on the condition that I go to school in her University at her hometown. The papers were then all processed for the transfer and sent on their way to the new school which I never really attended.

The very helpful woman at the registrar told me I would not be accepted anymore because once given an Honorable Dismissal, you cannot go back. My heart plummeted and I was close to tears. I had so wanted to finally get this degree. So I had to talk to the Head Registrar and eventually was asked to write a letter of request to the Secretary General. I called their office yesterday with my heart racing, not knowing what to expect and was told that they had granted my request! Wooohoooo!!! (Imagine me jumping up and down with joy!!).

15 years later..I am finally going back to school to finish that degree. I have always believed it is never too late to do, be, or achieve anything. We choose our paths, and if the path we have chosen leads us astray we always can choose to lead ourselves out and onto another path. My mom used to be always proud of getting her license to practice pharmacy in the U.S. at a very late age, I believe she was in her late 40s at the time and she continued to work until her 60s until she could not anymore because her diabetes caused too many complications and she had finaly succumbed to it.

We are constantly evolving, constantly learning, constantly seeking. I hope to never loose that sense of wonder and to continually see humor in everything...love like a child, laugh unabandonedly, see beauty and hope in every thing.

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A NEW PASSION

I got bitten. Roughly a month ago, I discovered "Digital Scrapbooking" and it unleashed that wondrously creative side of me that has been roaring to be let out..as in rawr!!!!! Most definitely that side of me is always there, from my love of anything "artsy" and eye for working a room's design, placement of things, even little things like how I bunch my accessories together, to making my own accessories, planning my garden, even my love for clothes (altering this and that to suit my taste), maybe even my love of cooking has it roots there. It has a history way baaaaack to when I was born a "leftie" har,har, har! But seriously, I remember during elementary days I loved art classes so much, anything to do with putting collages together, mixing colors, getting all glued up with bits and pieces..it was where I excelled at and it was what I enjoyed doing. I remember my paternal grandfather would always lovingly scold me for doodling at the back of my notebooks. And doodle I loved to do! I used to be able to even sketch the exact thing I was copying.

Gosh that seems so long ago. I haven't seriously doodled or drawn anything save for some stuff I have to draw for my kids school projects. I must be rusty, squeaky and "que horrror" dying to hide anything I draw right now. History did not even stop in Grade School, in High School I was awarded Artist of the Year during our graduation rites..I guess that was for contributing drawings for our school paper, how I got them fooled into thinking my drawings were great, well, I don't know...must be the innocence of youth :) Yet still, my history of loving anything connected to art or creativeness continued on to college where I took up Architecture, deigning to dream of building structures like Frank Lloyd Wright and other great designers at the time. College took me more than the usual 5 years it takes to finish that course and eventually I stopped a mere 10 subjects short of graduation (but of course that is another story to tell on another day ;) ) Went to work for a couple of design firms and tried my hand a freelancing.

So you see, before I became I corporate hag and tried my hands at entrepreneurship, I always had that creative blood coursing though me. I guess, I had put it to deep sleep because I was too busy doing so many other things. At the moment I am a WAHM (work-at-home-mom), and my work, sorry to say, is downright dull, tedious, and requires me to put in long hours in front of a computer doing medical related reports. No place to show your creativity there, because everything has to be precise.

So what a big JOY it was to discover that there was such a hobby as "Digital Scrapbooking" I am now officially hooked and take time to browse the sites, look at layouts for inspiration, read blogs and just marvel at the creativtiy of everyone in the community. Not to mention the friendliness and helpfulness of everyone, from giving out the most wonderful "freebies", to giving out "tutorials". The warmth and caring of the people out there is just overwhelming. Not only am I excited to scrap my memories but I am excited to be meeting so many wonderful people from all over the world!

Still a virtual newbie but so excited to learn..so bear with me if my Layouts are a bit too structured, hopefully in time I get the hand of this Photoshop and even learn to create my own kits, but for now, learning all I can about manipulating Photoshop so I can create great LOs are what's important to me. I'll try to post some LOs I've made (I'm also new to this blog thing and as you can see, my blog is bare..still do not know how to attach the header and other stuff, tee hee).

My apologies if I can't credit the owners of some of the papers, elements and alphas I am using, when I created them I was not aware of the TOUs so I did not jot down the designers names for proper credit. I will try to find time to look through my files so I can give credit where its due.

Below is a larger version of MY SCRAP GALLERY, each time I finish a layout, I upload it to the gallery so please keep checking this post to see larger versions of new layouts I have created.

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RETURN TO SINGLEDOM OR COUPLEHOOD FOREVER?

I may not fit the bill of the average single person because I have kids and am in a domestic partnership with my boyfriend of now more than 4 years, but I am unmarried and in civil society still very much a single person. Time was when I longed so much to be part of a couple, that ever elusive partnership with someone who not only pulled at your heartstrings but also stood for the same values and principles you stood for and who shared the same passions you had for things, someone who just totally GOT you, and still loved you. Is this a tough call? Idealistic ramblings and visions of happily ever after later we find ourselves jolted and awakened and dazed. Does such a man exist? Am I hoping for too much or am I settling for less?

It has happened to me, and I see it happen to friends. The never ending quest for that one single person. Brokens hearts and buckets of tears later we come together and look back..whatever happened to that couple whom we so adored and hoped our man would turn out to be like the guy in that relationship? He seemed to adore the very air she breathed, showered her with romantic surprises only one truly in love could think of, they just seemed enviable every time we saw them. They are now uncoupled, relationship turned sour, sworn enemies. We could only shake our heads and wonder "what the heck happened?" Our dream couple turned to dust. What the hell was in store for us? We could only hope, with our battle-weary hearts that we not ever meet the same fate.

True, my relationship has outsurvived theirs, it may not be the same romantic, frilly one they had, but it is one that is steady, constant. We bicker, we make up, we connect and yet have totally different beliefs in others that drives me up the wall, maybe same as my other idiosyncracies drives him up the wall too. But its safe and he is a great person and its uber comfortable and I can let my hair down. But...there is always that little "but" niggling at the back of my mind, and I ask the same question again, is couplehood all that its made out to be or is it just a dream we are programed to believe in? What has happened to the fierce, adventure seeking, grab the bull by the horns person I used to be? Driven into submission and branded "domesticized".

I sometimes long for the life I used to have, living by myself with my kids and just being able to do what I want without anyone to consider except my children. It felt as if I were more empowered then. Is this what couplehood has made me feel? Why can't I be in a relationship and still keep my independence. Am I in the wrong relationship or are my expectations too high? This must be the curse of the "single girl for too long"...you get used to living according to what you are used to, and when someone else claims your space you feel like you are crowded in and choked because you now not only have yourself to think of, you also have to consider someone else in your life who has a different set of expectations out of the relationship and on you as a person.

Nice cozy, safe, relationship or fierce, independent single life? Do you return to singledom or will it be couplehood forever?

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IS 40 THE NEW 30?

As I approach my 40th year it feels as though nothing has really changed with how I feel on the inside. People nowadays say that 40 is the new 30, maybe because 40-year-olds of now, are looking hotter than ever. Maybe its propaganda made by the 40-year-olds. Times surely have changed so much, there was a time when if someone told me they were 40, I would have the image of a way older woman. Now that I am almost-40, I wonder, do others view me that way? I feel I still have the heart and soul of a 30-year-old. Full of that expectancy that life will deal you out with roses and not lemons. Sure, been there, done that, coupled with a lot of lifes crippling moments but that does not faze me from seeking out my share of the pot of gold. Why should it, we are all alike in the universe's scheme of things, some just know how to ask for it.

All in all my life has been blessed, things have a habit of resolving itself, of getting better after they have been worse and as I look back I should not be complaining of whatever I have been dealt with. My going 40 years have taught me to have a resilient heart an an even more resilient spirit, ever hopeful, always looking out for the joy I can find. Not such a big deal turning 40, not as big a deal as others make it out to be, we are stronger, fiercer, bolder and that makes us beautiful and attractive because we are more secure in what we have. In this day and age, when 50 years olds act like they are 30 and 20 year olds act way older than their years, the divide has come to a close, we all just want the same thing, security, love and to live life without the boundaries of the past. Do I feel any different from when I was 30? Maybe experience-wise yes, but that hope is still there, the dreams are still burning, I still want to have it all.

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BLOGGOPHOBIA

I was just browsing some really great blogs and thought to myself, why not? I have always been hesitant to blog, somehow the idea of my thoughts being read by other people freaks me out, but then again, why not?

This is pretty new to me, well..not really. I used to love keeping diaries as a kid and as I grew up I would fill in thoughts about things that had mattered to me at that moment. I has been a good 5 or more years since since I attempted to write anything down. Life had caught up with me...career, home, kids, love... struggling with everyday mundane activities. I've buried who I really am, and what I really want to do. And now it seems vestiges of that person is trying to break loose.

So here I am, my first blog, I wanted to blog about a specific subject but I really can't stick to one subject, so lets just go with the flow. Tell me what it was like for you to blog for the first time? maybe that will help me get over my "bloggophobia" Hmmm..can I add that to wikipedia?

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