On Trying to be Myself

I was supposed to post this the day I left for my climb last January 14 but was unable to because my internet connection was really acting up. It is now nine days post-climb and a whole chasm has opened up and closed, wrong has been set to right and so I was wondering if I should even post this. But since this is about being myself I thought I'd like to remember this day and how it felt....

Here is what I wrote:

I opened my email today and was instantly struck by the title of Chris Guillebeau's (of The Art of Non-Conformity) blog post title "How to be Yourself".  I'm subscribed to receive his blog posts but don't get to read them all the time due to so many other things I need to do, so I leave it in my inbox to back track when I have time.  Today, the title jumped out at me and the article struck a chord because I had just had some words with my partner about my trip this weekend to climb Mt. Pulag (2nd Highest Mountain peak in the Philippines).  He is pretty miffed (and that's a kinder word) by my decision to go on that climb, which has been planned out almost a year in advance (I missed last year's reunion climb due to a running injury).  He says I'm no spring chicken anymore (again, those are kinder words) and I must be crazy to go up on this climb - it's not like before that I could go hike/climb wherever I pleased.  He worries about my ankle (which I broke about 7 years ago and which flared up last year when I started running), given, yes I appreciate the concern.

But I really don't like being told I cannot do anything in such a way that makes be feel like an imbecile.  If I believed everyone that told me I could not do it then I'd probably be so full of regret and never live my life the way I want to.  Here's the thing, he likes to run, eat, drink and watch TV.  I never complain.  I like to do my art/craft, do outdoor stuff, read (I can live without a TV but not without books and my computer :)  So my point is, what I like to do is equated to what he likes to do - I leave him be to do the stuff he likes (which is every week) and when I want to do something I like, uhm, climbing a mountain once a year, I expect full support, KWIM?  And he asks me, what do I get from going on that climb? What do I get???? Uhm, how about I'm just finally being myself.  That is who I am.  That is the kind of girl I am.  I love the outdoors, I love adventure, I'm kinda weird, and yes quirky, and I finally want to live a life where I can have the best of both worlds...be me and yet still love someone who is totally not me.  Is that too bad to ask for?

Chris says "Since trying to be anyone other than yourself is usually ineffective, why not begin by deciding to do only what is true to your own inner compass? If you did it for just one day, what would that day look like?"

This is what one of those days would look like... Indy the outdoorsy person is back, at least for the next 3 days before I wear my other hats again of mom, artist, entrepreneur, bookworm..

And Chris again goes on to say "Being yourself is risky. Something could go wrong, and then whose fault would it be? (This is another reason why it can be easier to let other people make your decisions—then you can blame them when it doesn’t work out.)

But in the long-run, you know you’re capable of being a good self. You know you’re capable of taking the risk. Even if some people don’t understand, you can find a way to pursue the life and work you’ve always wanted." 

 Life is short.  Seize the day!